


The Switch

by Deviant_Donghun



Series: Anxiety's Room [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Food, Hurt/Comfort, I swear the second chapter was supposed to be fluff, Kisses, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sleep Deprivation, Social Isolation, Spiders, Starvation, The first chapter is just pain, Time Travel, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, allusions to vomit, near excessive yearning, oh god angst, the last chapter is mainly fluff, the second kind of is too but I swear the third one is fluff, where did the angst come from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deviant_Donghun/pseuds/Deviant_Donghun
Summary: When season 1 Anxiety and season 2 Virgil swap places, they are both panicked. Virgil must learn to survive in the worst period of his life while Anxiety gets to find out what his future entails.Set in the same timeline as Anxiety's Book but it's not necessary to read that first.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Anxiety's Room [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143404
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	1. Back in Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: food mention, near excessive yearning, panic attack, sleep deprivation, social isolation, tears, touch starvation, spider mention

Virgil rolled over, reaching for Logan. He found a pillow instead and opened bleary eyes to find the room a lot darker than it usually was at this time of day. He rolled onto his back, thinking Logan had just gotten up early, but his concern started when he didn’t see the stars that were supposed to be stuck to the ceiling. He got out of bed now and searched for his hoodie, only to find the old one.

He threw it on and wandered downstairs, calling Logan’s name as he did so. None of the things he’d accrued from the Book were there, nor was the Book on the coffee table where he’d left it before going to bed that night. He was starting to feel his anxiety rise as he looked around the room for any sign of the logical side, only to find none at all. The coffee maker wasn’t running, there were dirty dishes in the sink where Logan would usually have insisted either he or Virgil wash them by now, and none of his stress relievers were around.

It finally got too much when he noticed an empty spot on the wall where a picture of him and Logan used to be. It was them lying on the bed, curled in each other’s arms. He felt tears fall down his cheeks and he swiped them away, turning his back to the shadow that he knew was both Thomas’ and the sides’ fear of Romantic Rejection.

He reached up and wiped away the tears, leaving the black eyeshadow streaks. Sinking to the floor, his hoodie pooled around him as his heart stopped beating for a second. It slammed into his chest, reminding him that he was still there, still alive and having to deal with the pain of the love of his life packing up and leaving and not even bothering to leave a note.

The rest of the day was spent in his room. He conjured a weighted blanket and laid under it, feeling the comfort of its weight but missing the comfort of Logan’s presence. Knocking at the door could be heard, with Patton calling him Anxiety and asking if he’d be out for dinner.

Finally, he couldn’t take the not understanding what was going on anymore and looked at the calendar that hung in his kitchen. The month was turned to February first when he knew it was well into August at this point but what was even stranger was the calendar being three years behind. His stomach rumbled, reminding him that even sides have to eat. He grabbed a container of mango slices and a bag of chips and sat down on his couch, trying to make sense of it all.

Either this was an elaborate prank; which, given Roman’s tendencies, was not completely out of the question; or he’d somehow swapped places with the Anxiety that had yet to be accepted by the Core Three. He had no way of proving that it’d happened without leaving the room. His room had many indicators that something was different but he didn’t trust it. He didn’t trust the shadows lurking on the walls, around every corner, and behind the bookcases. He didn’t want to leave the room because despite it being almost torturous to stay in it, he didn’t want the heartbreak that would come with seeing the sides from before he was accepted.

Finally, he couldn’t stay in his room any longer, needing to grab some food. He decided to go in the middle of the night, hoping the rest of the sides would be asleep by then. He wasn’t counting on running into Logan- no, not Logan, _Logic_. Logic was standing by the coffee maker, seeming to be waiting for it to finish.

Virgil hoped his headphones would be deterrent enough but Logic still seemed puzzled to see him, opening his mouth as if he had a question. Virgil sighed and pulled the headphones down, his music quietly filtering into the night air. “Yes?” His tone was sharp, snapping at the man who would one day become Virgil’s beloved.

Logic shook his head. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you.”

Virgil scoffed. “Could say the same thing about you, teach.” He grabbed a few dried goods and a fresh quart of milk, moving to head back to his room.

“That’s not what I meant.” The almost desperate voice called after him. Virgil almost turned around to converse with Logic, even if it were just to hear Logan’s voice. He didn’t, continuing to walk to his room.

He didn’t come out again until the Valentine’s day incident. He was summoned for the video, his first interaction with anyone in over a week. He had to stand there and watch Logic clumsily ask pretend- Valerie out. Meanwhile, his own mind was bringing up memories of how smoothly Logan had asked him out, softly while they were curled around each other. 

Morality, he’d decided to just call them all by their functions as it made it easier to remember they were the past versions, was clumsy and awkward and loud and just made him cringe. Virgil knew his lines and should have been able to say them with ease. Instead, he altered them slightly. It wasn’t enough to show that he was different from the Anxiety they knew at the time but he did suggest what he and Logan had done. Getting to know someone gradually, slowly bringing the relationship from friendship to romance as they got more comfortable around each other and spent more time in the other’s company.

He’d been frustrated and lashed out before reeling himself in and quieting down, annoyed that he’d almost given himself away. If he was going to be in the past, he was going to make sure that nothing major changed. He knew how the song and dance went, knew what he was supposed to say when. It didn’t make it any easier to hear how hard it was for Logic to say he loved the rest of them when Virgil knew just how readily Logan expressed his affection physically, it didn’t make it any less difficult to say it himself when he preferred to do it by giving people things they needed or by spending time with them.

He left at the end, going to his room and checking to make sure no other side could come in. Looking back on that video and recording session, he knew he needed an outlet, somewhere to turn to let out the steam before he blew up. He decided to make a journal, writing down both what happened and his thoughts on the matter. This way, Anxiety had a reference for what happened when he came back, ensuring that nothing changed. 

Time went on and his isolation stayed the same. He didn’t dare try to get back his soothing items simply because he didn’t want to disturb the room. He was briefly called up for _Losing My Motivation_ but he didn’t participate for much, preferring to just soak up the feeling of being around those he cared about, even if they couldn’t care less about him at that moment.

Slowly but surely he got used to the old routine again, got used to the isolation and the feelings of having no one to lean on and talk to. He’d started talking to Phobia a lot more, letting her stay in his hoodie sleeves or lounge in the hood. She was his constant companion, even taking her up when called in for videos. She stayed in his hoodie pocket then, just laying quietly so no one could even tell she was there. 

He was used to the silence, used to his headphones always being on and blasting music to feel less alone. What he hadn’t been used to was the loneliness. He’d gotten so used to having Logan as a constant in his life, the logical side filling his bed, sharing his meals, always close at hand for conversations and physical affection. He was used to Patton peeking his head in, asking if they wanted to watch a movie with the group, used to Roman barging in to ask advice for writing, how a scene could get angstier, how a romance could be softened or logic worked a different way.

He was used to Thomas calling him up just to check in on him, just to see how he was doing and to ask if the meds were still working. He was used to having meds, having a barrier that kept the shadows at bay, something and someone to help him fight the demons. He wasn’t used to being on his own anymore and it was starting to show.

His sleep was fitful if he even got that far, the eyeshadow now being more to cover his dark circles than as a fashion statement or result of being in his room. After the first few days, he stopped trying to sleep and went back to letting himself crash whenever and wherever he did.

The next video, he barely even had to fake the Anxiety act, having slipped back into old patterns. He caught himself smiling at Logic’s insistence that his necktie means he’s being serious, having to quickly put his face back to the mask of indifference. He couldn’t resist hyping him up during the rap battle, loving the glimpse into what Logan had always been like behind closed doors.

After that video, Morality insisted he come out of his room at the very least. So, he sat in the common room, watching the strangers with his friends' faces move around the area. Logic came to read on the couch close by, just close enough that Virgil had the urge to lay his head on his shoulder, just far enough away it would be awkward to do so. Morality was sitting off to the side, knitting. Princey was writing furiously at the coffee table.

His head aching and his vision making him dizzy from lack of sleep, Virgil slipped his headphones over his ears and turned the music up. He blocked out the sounds of Morality’s needles clacking, the rub of pencil against paper against wood, the quiet whisper of pages turning. He knew that if he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, if he truly listened to the sounds of the room, it would feel like home, even if just for a little while. He also knew it was too good to be true so he didn’t even want to trick himself into thinking about it, no matter how calming it would be to do that.

By the time April rolled around, he had reprised his former self perfectly, even picking up the self doubt that he thought he’d at least lightened. His anxious thoughts were back and stronger than ever, the shadows always creeping close to him while he was in his room, some sinking their freezing fingers into his clothes and tugging whenever they could. He still stayed in there until he was needed, preferring the sinister shadows to the almost passive aggressiveness of the Core Three.

It was nights like this when he felt Logan’s absence the strongest. When he wasn’t there to talk him down from a panic attack, when he wasn’t around for Virgil to wrap his arms around his waist and bury his head in his chest, to have Logan run his fingers through Virgil’s hair and remind him it’s only temporary. He missed the feeling and heat of him beside him in bed, something pillows and heater blankets couldn’t replicate. He missed the actions of making two cups of hot chocolate in the middle of the night, of sitting down at the kitchen table and talking through their worries and fears.

April fourth, three months after he went back in time, saw him appearing alongside Logic for a video that would be his breaking point. He didn't get any sleep that night, haunted by the shadow that was his current greatest fear: that he’d be stuck in the past for the rest of his life. He knew that it wouldn’t be the case, knew that eventually time would catch up and he’d be back in the present but four years older mentally, but that was his head. His heart and fears thought differently and, as everyone around him knew, once anxiety latched onto an insecurity it would never stop being a fear.

He knew what this video was, knew it was just him and Logic having a simple debate that would end up with him leaving as Logic and Thomas had a heart to heart, as much as one can have a heart to heart with one's brain. However, life never went as he wanted or needed it to. He was sleep deprived and anxious, feeling like the shadows had their thin fingers clutching his ankles even as he stood in reality, and he could feel every one of those hours he’d spent awake rather than sleeping.

He leant into the script, relying on what he was supposed to be saying and when he needed to say it, as he tried to forget the memories that had danced before his eyes in the small hours of the morning. He’d gotten a bit fed up with being ignored or laughed at by the others and lashed out a bit on accident, instantly regretting it despite Logic not even flinching at his hissing.

Despite it all, he got a thrill when Logic yelled ‘Falsehood!’ at him and enjoyed the closest thing to alone time he’d had with Logic since they bumped into each other in the kitchen. He was still too anxious to go off script and ended up just watching him from the side of the room. He relied on the script and his memories of the events, letting himself float through the episode with some degree of lucidness.

Virgil loved getting to see Logic smile and having a debate with the love of his life. He started getting frustrated with himself and the situation, not being able to live his life as he was used to and not knowing when he was going to get home. When Virgil sank out after that video, he could tell his thoughts were spiraling. Needing to be out of his room, Virgil went to the common room to grab a snack and found the Core Three sitting on the couches and talking. Morality noticed him and offered for him to join them but Virgil just shook the invitation away, not wanting to be around them in that moment.

Instead, he almost went back to his room. However, when he reached the door, he found himself thinking about Logan’s room instead and soon found himself there. He looked around the familiar environment, a place he knew as well as, if not better than, his own room. He hadn’t ended up in the library that was the first destination for most sides when they thought of Logan’s room, but the actual room he called his own.

Virgil wandered about for a minute, taking in the little details that made it Logan’s space: the books on the side table, the curtains opened to let in the maximum amount of light, the uncluttered floor but the massively cluttered desk, every little thing about the room saying it unmistakably belonged to Logic. Making his way to the bedroom, Virgil found a tie lying on the bed. It reminded him of when Logan would bring his clothes over and lay them out before he got dressed in the morning.

Suddenly, Virgil was hit with a wave of emotion, just now realizing how much he missed Logan, _his_ Logan. He crawled onto the bed, cradling the tie in his hands and curling around a pillow that smelled like him. Tears slipped out, wetting the pillow below him but Virgil couldn’t care less as he drifted into the deepest and most restful sleep he’d had in months.


	2. Purple Galaxies

Anxiety woke slowly for once, a soft and gentle rising to awareness that he’d rarely ever experienced before. Feeling warmth at his side, he curled closer to it for a moment. That was, until his mind cleared of the fog left by sleep and he realized that someone was in the bed with him.

This someone groaned and rolled over, throwing an arm around Anxiety and pulling him close, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Morning, babe.” Logic’s voice rumbled in his ear, slightly rougher due to sleep.

Anxiety froze, unsure how to proceed. This was the most physical contact he’d gotten from someone in as long as he could remember. It felt nice but he also wasn’t sure why there was a second person in the bed or even who the bed belonged to.

For the moment, he was trapped beneath Logic. He laid there, staring at the ceiling. Shifting stars lined it, moving slowly in changing colors. Anxiety didn’t remember putting those up on his ceiling but he also didn’t remember crawling into Logic’s bed. He wasn’t sure what to believe anymore as nothing felt real.

It wasn’t long before Logic nodded against his collarbone and rolled to sit on the side of the bed. “Alright, Love, talk to me.”

Anxiety frowned, slowly moving away from the middle of the bed. “What do you want me to talk about?” He tried to keep his voice even and steady so as to throw off suspicion of whatever was going on.

“You’re tense. Why?”

Anxiety shrugged as he looked for his usual hoodie. “I have no idea what’s going on right now.”

Logic paused in his movements, his shirt half buttoned. “Okay, how can I help?” HIs voice was slow and steady and reassuringly soft.

Anxiety sighed, his shoulders slumping forward. “This is going to sound crazy.”

Logic rounded the bed, coming to stand in front of him. He crouched and tenderly ran his hand through Anxiety’s hair. “Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

Anxiety nodded. “I don’t remember going to sleep in this room last night, I don’t know why I woke up next to you, and I have no idea why you’re being so nice to me.”

Logic nodded, patient as ever. “Okay, what is the last thing you remember?”

“I ate something, probably crackers or oatmeal as that’s the only thing I have left in the kitchen. Then, I went to the bedroom and tried to sleep. I guess I succeeded but I don’t remember falling asleep.” Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

Logic ran his hand through Anxiety’s hair again, gently scratching the back of his head with the pads of his fingers. “How about we go out to the common room and talk about this with the others? We’ll figure out what’s going on.”

Anxiety nodded and stood, looking around the room. “Where’s my hoodie? It’s not where I left it.”

Logic chuckled as he finished buttoning his shirt. “Your current one is draped over the sofa where we left it last night. The old one is in your closet. Would you like to go get it before we join the others?”

Anxiety nodded. “I can get it, you go on ahead.”

They walked down the stairs together, Anxiety trying to take in everything. There was a black hoodie with purple patches thrown over the back of the couch just as Logic said it was. Other things were scattered around that implied two people lived in this part of the mindscape.

Anxiety reached out to Logic but didn’t touch him. “Do I know your name?”

Logic nodded. “It’s Logan and yes, you know everyone’s name and we all know yours, Virgil. Would you be more comfortable with us calling you Anxiety for the time being?”

Anxiety nodded. “Please, Logan.” The name felt heavy in his mouth, unfamiliar but not unwelcome. He liked it.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few, Anxiety.” He leaned over in such a way that it looked like he was about to kiss his cheek but pulled back. Instead, he just patted Anxiety’s shoulder awkwardly and left.

Anxiety looked around the room for a moment, taking in that this was someone’s life. He smiled, thinking that maybe he could get used to this. He went back to his room and found it bright and airy, the drapes pulled open and the surfaces recently cleaned. There were small fountains and rock lamps scattered throughout the space, a weighted blanket that was folded neatly rested in a wicker basket by the couch.

He went upstairs and found little glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling above the bed. Two sets of toiletries resided in the bathroom and someone else’s slippers sat next to the bed. Anxiety smiled, guessing that Logan treated this room as his too. He rummaged through the closet and found his black and grey hoodie hanging toward the back.

He slipped it on and instantly felt more comfortable in this unfamiliar world. Nothing about the room might look or feel the same as it did when he went to bed, but this hoodie still felt exactly as it did when he took it off the previous night. He left his room and entered the common room.

Creativity was sitting on the couch, staring at pages spread out on the coffee table. Morality was hovering around him, not sitting down but just holding a mug. Logan peeked his head out of the kitchen when the door closed. He smiled. “Hello, Anxiety. I have to ask, do you like chocolate chip pancakes?”

Anxiety could hear the unspoken ‘yet’ at the end of the sentence but said nothing about it. “Yeah, I do.”

Logan nodded. “Good. You’re free to sit anywhere you like but I’m pretty sure you’ll find a fidget cube on the floor somewhere around the coffee table.”

Anxiety nodded, giving Logan a two-finger salute and moving to go find said calming toy. Creativity leaned over and picked it up, holding it out without looking up from his pages. Anxiety took the offered black cube and curled up in a corner of the couch, occupying himself by pressing the buttons on one side of the cube.

Time passed both slowly and quickly as he zoned out, focusing solely on the cube. He tuned back into the world to find a plate being held out to him. Looking up, Logan was smiling down at him. “Go ahead and eat, d- Anxiety.”

Morality smiled at Logan. “You’re being so sweet with him.”

Logan ignored him. “Have they introduced themselves yet?” Anxiety shook his head as he carefully took the plate. Logan nodded and did a simple introduction for them before going back to grab the other plates to serve. “Roman, please move those pages so I can set the plates on the coffee table.”

Roman did so, stacking them into a semi-neat pile. Three plates were set down along with such things as peanut butter, plain butter, syrup, and a chocolate spread. They ate in relative silence before discussing what happened to Anxiety and Virgil.

The talks went around different topics for a while, Anxiety chipping in when needed, before Roman seemed to have struck on an idea. He held up a hand to pause Patton mid-sentence and turned to Anxiety. “Do you know what day it is?”

He nodded. “It’s the first of February.”

The Core Three exchanged looks before Logan put a hand on Anxiety’s knee. “What year is it?”

“2017.” He was looking between the three now, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Okay, we can work with this.” Logan said, his hand still on Anxiety’s knee.

Anxiety looked around at them. “What? What can we work with? What’s going on?”

“It seems that you have been transported into the future. It’s currently mid August in 2019.”

Anxiety nodded, eyes blank and mouth open slightly. “This is fine.” His voice was a bit breathy but otherwise stable. He didn’t notice tears rolling down his cheeks until Logan’s hand moved from his knee to wipe it away. Anxiety sat like that for a while more, being overwhelmed with the news.

Logan moved from a few seats down to right beside him, leaving some room between them. Anxiety accepted the unspoken invitation and leaned against him, wrapping his hoodie around himself. Logan’s arms came around him, curling close and secure. Anxiety relaxed and, eventually, fell asleep.

When he woke, Anxiety went to his room. He puttered around it, looking at all the new things that had been added. He found a small journal tucked away in the corner of a bookshelf. It was somewhere in the middle of the bookcase, with fancier notebooks below it and fantasy books above and around it.

Taking it over to the couch, he sat down and read. It chronicled the Anxiety from the future, who went by his actual name of Virgil, as he was trapped in the past. It started off factual, listing what had happened in the Valentine’s Day video. The only anomaly there was the small note in the margins that read, ‘I miss him.’ It was written next to a line that chronicled an instance of Logic trying to flirt with ‘Valerie’.

The next entry in the journal spoke of feeling alone, like none of the other sides cared about him. ‘I know it used to be like this, I know what it was like before to be shunned or vaguely tolerated by the others but I don’t remember it feeling this bad. My stomach hurts, I’m barely able to eat anything and what I do eat doesn’t stay down long. My head pounds from lack of sleep and little nutrition. Logan’s drilled in me the importance of proper nutrition but I just can’t keep up the energy to make myself eat. I’m sorry, Love, but not eating can’t kill me.’

Anxiety skimmed through a few more entries, watching the switch in tone. It took a month of entries for them to change from being addressed to Anxiety to being aimed at Logan, or at least some fabrication of Logan Virgil had managed to create in his head. ‘I miss you. I want to see your smile, not the fake thing you used to give off. This feels like torture or at least a punishment, seeing you every day but knowing it’s not you at all, not yet anyways.’

A few days went by before another entry. ‘I got kicked out of the common room again. It seems they were wanting to watch a movie and didn’t want me around. Why do I not remember this happening? Shouldn’t I have at least remembered some of the things that go on outside of videos? Has it really been that long since they treated me this way?’

‘Logic brushed my hand today. Just a simple thing, an accidental  touch while passing. But it felt weird. LIke a tingle in the knuckles that slowly spread up the rest of the arm until even my shoulder was tingling. It didn’t feel bad, but it was quite different than what I’m used to.’

‘I cried myself to sleep last night. You weren’t there to hold me. You didn’t rub my back and tell me that my emotions are perfectly fine and reasonable for what I’m going through, you didn’t offer to take my mind off what troubled me, you weren’t there to ramble about your interests until your eyes lit up with wonder and I couldn’t help but fall asleep to the sound of your voice. Instead, I felt the hole in my chest where you’re supposed to be. I felt a coldness in the bed where your warmth wasn’t. I felt tears run down my face and sobs wrack my body until I eventually couldn’t feel anything anymore.’

Over the course of the next few months, Anxiety read through the journal Virgil kept. He watched his future self make fewer and fewer entries between episodes. Soon, all that was left was the detailed and emotion filled accounts of the episodes until he got to the last page with writing on it.

‘My heart aches. There’s a physical feeling of pain coming from my chest that’s not the usual pain of hunger or heartburn. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Or is it the reluctant acceptance that I might never get out of here, never return to my time and my family, destined to repeat my past mistakes and know they’re going to hurt people I care about?’

Anxiety carefully closed the book, wiped away a stray tear he hadn’t noticed, latched it, and put it back exactly where he’d found it that first day. Soon after that, he felt Thomas calling him for something and came up in the real world. “You rang?” His voice was deep and smooth, the way it had always been before he’d been pulled into the future.

Thomas turned and smiled at him. “Anxiety, hi.” He’d been told about the switch thing that had happened and was perfectly fine with having his past anxiety for a while. He’d been less fine when Anxiety had tried to do his job but could only bring up the old anxieties he knew about that just didn’t cut it these days. Now, he mainly just hung out for a while.

It’d taken him a bit of time to get adjusted to the new routines, to the new places Thomas frequented. He’d had a few minor freak outs trying to juggle so many new things at once but eventually he’d found the rhythm the other’s had created and joined in, being the steady drumbeat in the background that kept everyone else on time and in place.

“What’d you need me for, Sanders?” His voice made him sound impatient but Thomas knew he didn’t mean it, he just didn’t know of any other way to communicate with him.

Thomas smiled. “I called you to ask if you want to hang out, just you and me.”

Anxiety thought it over but eventually found that it would be easier to protect Thomas if he was in line of sight so agreed and curled up in the corner of the couch. They agreed on a movie and put it in, Thomas soon losing himself in the storyline. Anxiety felt tired as three days of no sleep caught up to him. Soon, he fell asleep midway through the movie. Thomas put a blanket over him despite him not being real and kept going with the movie.


	3. All is Right with the World

Virgil rolled over, feeling the bed dip beside him. A hand caressed his face and he leaned into it for a moment before snapping awake fully. He looked at the blue and black sheets around him, feeling a body pillow at his back, before he focused on  Logan Logic sitting on the edge of the bed. Virgil froze, drinking in Logic being the closest he’d ever been to him. His polo was unbuttoned, tie nowhere in sight. His eyes seemed tired and his hair was ruffled.

Logic smiled down at him. “Did you sleep well, Anxiety?”

Virgil sighed, letting go of the hope he’d grasped tightly to, the hope that said this was his Logan and everything was back to normal. Instead, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, letting Logic’s hand fall from his cheek despite wanting to hold it close. “Sorry, I didn't mean to come here, I meant to go to my room.”

Logic nodded, his eyes sad. He reached out a hand as if to swipe his thumb under Virgil’s eye but pulled it back at the last second, instead curling his fingers around the edge of the blanket. “That’s fine. I don’t mind you using my room for naps if you need them.” He stood from the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt and running his hands through his hair to get it to some semblance of style.

Virgil threw the covers off, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He pulled his hoodie closer around him as he stood, hunching in on himself. “Yeah, well, thanks for being so chill about it or whatever.”

Logic nodded again, hurriedly turning around to face his bookshelf. Virgil took that as his cue to leave, hurrying down the stairs and through the door to his room. He leaned against the door with his eyes closed, trying to calm his breathing and slow his pounding heart.

When he opened his eyes, the room was just as dark as he’d left it before the video. He fumbled into the kitchen, looking for that box of crackers he’d left on the counter. The first indication that something was different was the fruit basket in the corner of the counter.

“Did Morality stock up while I slept at Logic’s?” He asked aloud, the empty room giving no answer. He sighed, grabbing an apple and forgetting about the crackers. Flipping the kitchen light off, he sat on the couch and ate his apple in the dark, the only light coming from a glow in the dark fridge magnet.

He fell asleep soon after finishing his snack, the core being discarded on the coffee table. When he woke, the sound of running water filled the room. Virgil turned his head to look at the sink but found his vision blocked by a small water fountain on his dining room table.

Virgil shot up, suddenly wide awake. He looked around, eyes cataloguing every coping mechanism that had become a staple of his life. The thing that solidified that he was back in the present was the Book sitting on a nearby shelf, looking exactly as he’d left it all those months ago.

Virgil leapt from the couch and raced up the stairs, looking for a change of clothes. He opened his closet to find his usual ripped jeans and ripped tee but his purple hoodie was nowhere to be found. He threw on the parts of his outfit that he did have, feeling so much more like himself again. Taking the stairs two at a time coming down, he almost tripped a few times and came very close to falling on his face.

He left his room and went straight to Logan’s, taking his stairs three at a time. He skidded to a halt outside the bedroom door. Chest heaving, Virgil tried to calm down and think it through. He couldn't bear for this to just be a dream, to open this door and wake up back on his couch. He wasn’t sure what he would do if that were to happen.

Breathing slowed but heart pounding, Virgil turned the handle and opened the bedroom door. He held his breath as he crept into the room. When he got close enough to see the freshly made bed and hear the shower running, he breathed a sigh of relief. The same dark sheets covered the bed as last night and in the bed was the body pillow he’d bumped into the night before. Now, he could see his hoodie wrapped around the pillow; it was zipped up around the soft thing and the arms were crossed as if they were usually wrapped around the regular occupant of the bed. Virgil found it sweet.

The bathroom door opened and Virgil spun around with a small gasp, not having heard the shower turn off. Logan stood in the doorway in an undershirt and jeans with a towel around his neck. Virgil smiled and couldn’t help but tear up the slightest bit.

Logan squinted at him, not having his glasses on. When he gained some semblance of who was standing there, he smiled and ran forward, practically throwing himself into Virgil’s arms. The anxious side caught him easily, spinning in a circle until he slowed to a stop and just held Logan close. Virgil breathed in the scent of Logan’s aftershave and cologne, the smell of home.

They pulled apart for a moment but stayed in each other’s arms. Logan reached up a hand to cup Virgil’s cheek and, this time, he leaned into it, kissing Logan's palm. Logan smiled. “You’re really here?” His voice held a note of disbelief and awe.

Virgil kissed his palm again, taking the hand and kissing his fingers, his palm, the back of his hand, his wrist. “I’m here. I’m home.” He whispered between kisses.

Logan leaned into his chest, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. They stayed there for a while, just soaking in each others’ comforting presence. Even when the kiss stopped they stayed close, Virgil taking most of Logan’s weight as the shorter side leaned into him.

Finally, Logan pulled back to look Virgil in the eye. “Wait, but what about Anxiety? And what happened to you in the past? Are you okay? You’re skinnier than you were before.”

Virgil nodded, arms tightening just the slightest bit around Logan’s waist. “My time spent as Anxiety in his future made me realize what could be and what I wanted it to be. It sparked my ‘ducking out’, which led to my eventual acceptance by Thomas and my life with you.”

Logan nodded, still staring him in the eyes. “You didn’t tell me what happened while you went to the past.”

“Perceptive as ever, L. I’ll tell you later tonight, okay? For now, I want to curl up with you in the common room and enjoy my family.”

Logan smiled, stepping out of Virgil’s arms. “Give me a moment to finish getting dressed.”

Virgil gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Take your time, my love.” He moved to sit on the side of the bed and retrieved his stolen hoodie. “It smells like you.” He smiled.

Logan laughed. “That’s what happens when I’m the only one to use it for the past four months.”

Virgil chuckled as he pulled the hoodie on, tugging Logan closer by the belt loops to do his tie for him. “Well, I’ll enjoy the smell of home until it smells like me again and you can steal it again.”

Logan went up on his toes to press a quick kiss to Virgil’s lips. “Sounds like a deal, my dear. Are we ready?”

“Yes, we are.”

Hand in hand, they joined the rest of the sides in the common room. They curled up together on the couch, Virgil almost pulling Logan into his lap but settling for snuggling as close as he could. They stayed in nearly the same position for the entirety of the evening, Virgil needing the physical contact to know that Logan was real. He was afraid that every time he blinked, he’d open his eyes and find that this was all a dream and he was actually back in the past.

Logan didn’t seem to mind, carding his hand through Virgil’s messy hair. The others let Virgil pick which movie to watch and Roman made them all popcorn. He gave Virgil and Logan a bowl that was mixed with pretzel bits, chocolate candies, and a light drizzle of a cherry syrup, just the way they liked it. Virgil was content, surrounded by his family and loved ones, but was still terrified of falling asleep in case he woke up back on his own couch.

When the movie was over, the couple went to Logan’s room in silent agreement. After getting dressed, Virgil felt a pair of arms wrap around his middle, Logan’s face pressing into the middle of his back. Virgil quietly wrapped his arms over Logan’s and just let himself be held for a moment, closing his eyes to truly burn the moment into his memory.

“Are you ready for bed?” Logan asked against his back, still clinging tightly.

Virgil nodded, rubbing his arm in a soothing gesture before turning around to face him. “I’m still having a hard time believing this is real. I keep thinking that I’ll wake up back on my couch and it’ll have all been a wonderful dream.”

Logan smiled and leaned into him. “If you do, I’ll just make sure to fall for you all over again. There’s no way I couldn’t.”

Virgil leaned down and kissed him gently before they both climbed into bed. They lay facing each other, one of Virgil’s arms draped over Logan’s side and one of Logan's hands cradling Virgil’s face.

He rubbed his thumb gently over Virgil’s eyebags, frowning as it didn’t come off. “When was the last time you slept, dear?”

Virgil shrugged softly, his own thumb making circles on Logan’s hip. “I remember crying myself to sleep on Logic’s bed last night. He woke me around two and I fell asleep on my couch for a bit longer. That was when I woke up here around noon.”

Logan smiled. “That wasn’t Logic that woke you, moonbeam. I’d thought Anxiety had fallen asleep on my bed. I could have sworn he looked just like you do now but I wrote it off as you looking younger in your sleep.”

Virgil smiled, rolling to snuggle closer. “I’m sorry.”

Logan buried his face in Virgil’s hair, hand still holding his face. “Whatever for? You did nothing wrong.”

Virgil shook his head. “I didn’t take care of myself as well as I should have when I was gone. I didn’t use any of the coping mechanisms I learned from the book, I barely slept and even more rarely ate. I was a mess.” He felt tears slip down his cheek and over the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

Logan chuckled, curling around him just that bit more. “You survived, that’s all that matters. You came back to me. We can work on your diet and sleep schedule, I’m sure Thomas wouldn’t mind taking it easy the next few days to give you a break. In fact, I think he was heading toward burnout as it was so it’ll be nice for us all to have a break.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay.” his voice was soft, almost breathy.

Logan smiled. “Okay.” He waited a beat. “What do you want to do right now? Do you want to talk about it?”

Virgil nuzzled him slightly. “Just hold me like this for a while?” They could talk about it in the morning, in that moment he just wanted to be safe and finally relax.

Logan brought one arm around to cradle Virgil’s back while the hand on his face moved from just his cheek to being mainly on the neck. “Is this okay?”

Virgil nodded, enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by his love, being able to hear Logan’s heartbeat and knowing he was real. “It’s perfect.” Soon after, the room was filled with the couple’s soft breathing as they drifted into well-deserved sleep.


End file.
